It's not completely surprising that Lifetime would decide to make their own witch movie (because, you know, lesbians), but what is surprising is how unrelentingly badass this turns out to be. There's about a million different characters and enough shit going on for several seasons of Supernatural, but it's basically about these witches who want to make the mayor of New York City their little bitch. There's plenty of ways to achieve this (example: threaten to reveal his role in a scam to artificially inflate the price of ice), but apparently they're doing it the hard way, which involves murdering tons of people, sacrificing babies, framing an old lady for drugs and then hanging her in her jail cell, and throwing some broad out the window of a skyscraper. You can't say this coven doesn't know how to have a good time. There's also some killer crows, a chick having her period all over the floor, people turning into birds, statutory rape (the best kind), a girl exploding and taking an entire city bus with her, a cop bashing another cop's head in with a coffee pot, folks swapping bags of still-warm blood in alleys, and plenty more blood spewing out of just about every orifice and inanimate object imaginable. Plus, in the eye candy department, some underage Catholic schoolgirls and Meadow Soprano.

Meanwhile, Chiller (the supposed horror channel) is running an eight-hour block of FreakyLinks. Again. Honestly, Chiller, words fail me.