Finally, a Lifetime Original Movie I can really get behind. This flick illustrates why you shouldn't befriend the popular girls while simultaneously badmouthing them on Facebook: because they will beat you shitless and then post a video of it on YouTube, hopefully tagged appropriately so that I don't have too much trouble finding it. This flick also illustrates why you shouldn't videotape your crimes, you stupid fucking kids, but if you haven't figured that out by now nothing I say is going to stop you so just be sure to mail me a copy before you get busted. Not only will I review it, but if you're as fine as the chicks in this movie I will totally do my best to swing public opinion in your favor. Rest assured, hot, delinquent, teenage girls, Mr. Satanism has got your back.

Getting back to the subject at hand, this is your typical "ripping one from the headlines" flick, and it doesn't miss a beat, from the media circus, to the tiresome heartfelt speech at the end clumsily conveying the valuable lesson we're all supposed to learn (I forget what it was), right down to everyone's inexplicable incredulousness at nearly everything that happens. Why are the people in these movies always so flabbergasted when exactly what you would expect to go down, goes down? "I can't believe people are saying cruel things, anonymously, on the Internet!" Seriously, who died and made you idiot? Oh, and naturally there's the inevitable part where someone blames the whole thing on the Internet, which is kind of like blaming domestic violence on The Honeymooners, but whatever. Seriously, misplaced outrage dude, you should be ecstatic that the chicks who pummeled your daughter did make a video of it. Come prosecution time, that'll save the taxpayers a helluva lot of money. Try to look on the bright side for once, Mr. Negativity.

One final thought: The main chick in this movie has pretty big tits for a 15-year-old. I'm just sayin'.

Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.