I wish I could meet Coughin' Joe, the guy who made this movie and several other incomprehensible pieces of jackass meat just like it. I would kick him in the junk so fucking hard he'd never pleasure one of his precious cunt-ugly women again, and I know I'd get away with it too because nothing he's ever said in his entire life has made a lick of goddamned sense so how is he going to tell anyone? In this flick he plays the same asshole as always, except this time he's haunting people's dreams Freddy Krueger style. (Of course Freddy Krueger didn't become completely annoying until Part 4, whereas by 1978 Coughin' Joe had been sucking shit for over a decade.) He's also searching for the perfect woman again, but you have to understand that his idea of "perfect" falls somewhere between "week-old wildebeest carcass" and "someone set her face on fire, then tried to put it out with a pitchfork dipped in ugly". One Miss Perfect he claimed had a moustache that put Magnum P.I.'s to shame, and the chicks in the last Coughin' Joe movie I suffered through were so repulsive that my body actually found a way to expel puke from every orifice simultaneously, including my ears. Needless to say the broad he's after in this flick is no great shakes, but I'd fuck her if I was blind and hated myself, so technically his taste is improving.

Since this is a "dream" movie and a Coughin' Joe movie the "plot" makes about as sense as flipping through 1200 cable channels really fast while you're on acid: there's lots of feet; a little monster that looks like a potato someone drew a face on with a magic marker (Coughin' Joe shoots fire out of his hands and makes short work of this fucker. Fries for everyone!); ugly people being tortured; the viewer being tortured; several guys in their underwear falling down the stairs; and tons of scenes of this bearded dork looking confused (I totally sympathize). Oh, and you know that thing where someone will draw a face on their stomach and then wear a giant hat over the top half of their body so that it looks like they're a goddamned idiot? Well that's here too, except the people in this movie have the face drawn on their ass.

Fuck you, Coughin' Joe. Do the world a favor and choke on your own dick and die.