
Video Picks for Perverts
|
|
(1991)
The video box claims that Hammerman is "The first musical hero!" What about KISS, huh? The Phantom of the Park didn't defeat himself, you know. So, Hammerman has a problem (no, not another skunk in his swimming pool): he lost the magical shoes that give him his ill-defined superpowers, and just when this supervillain has turned all the graffiti in town into three-dimensional monsters that are running amok. Of course Hammerman finds the shoes eventually, after which he effortlessly defeats the monsters while his chart-topping hit "U Can't Touch This" plays. It's exactly how you would expect a superhero cartoon based on M.C. Hammer to play out, which, obviously, is why it's so bad. What makes it especially insufferable though is that the real M.C. Hammer, under the mistaken impression that he's somehow important and kids will actually listen to him, appears at the end to explain why graffiti is bad. Instead of tagging up the hood, he suggests drawing on a piece of paper: "And who knows? You might end up drawing on a cartoon like Hammerman." Gee, thanks, M.C. Hammer! And someday you might end up singing the national anthem before a high school basketball game. Asshole. Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.
|
| All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2011 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for referential purposes meet fair usage requirements and are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise. This site doesn't pay for itself, you know. | |
YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.