This strikes me as kind of a weird show to remake. Young people don't have any particular attachment to it (because it got cancelled about a hundred years ago), and most old people will be dead long before they get through re-watching the original on DVD (since it ran for a hundred years before that) and probably won't even realize that a new version exists. I guess they figured having no "built-in" audience was more than worth it to avoid listening to fans of the original piss & moan every time there's an episode with some rap music in it or something.

That said, this show does need two things to qualify as legit- it has to go down in Hawaii, and it has to retain the awesome, old-school theme music. Well, they got both those things right, and the rest of this episode isn't too bad either: there's a fair amount of badass; some good gags that they don't beat us over the head with (like the one guy using the Psycho music for his ex-wife's ringtone); and we see the main chick, who easily meets my minimum hotness requirements, in a bikini and her underwear (not at the same time). They did fumble the ball when Book 'em Danno 2.0 said "What's in the box?" though- it's utterly impossible to take that line seriously since the sheer idiocy that was the comedy classic Se7en. Of course the main guy and his team break so many rules, laws, and commandments in the course of busting the bad guys that there's no way any of them will ever serve a day in jail, but this is a cop show not a lawyer show so that's really not their problem. In fact, it might be a great setup for a spin-off. Here's the pitch:

This cute, spunky DA (played by Erin Karpluk in a really short skirt) has to find a way to prosecute all the crooks Hawaii Five-0 brings in, even though every single one of their civil rights has been violated so many times that they look like the asshole of a six-year-old who just spent the weekend with this guy. Each week her team of five lawyers would be convinced that they had a solid case until some new fact would come to light and totally blow it, like maybe they'd learn that the Five-0 guys got the cat in question to confess by repeatedly kicking him in the junk to the beat of "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz (featuring Ludacris). Every time that happened, the "funny" lawyer would throw his hands in the air and say the show's catchphrase: "Oh, no..." In fact, I think we've got our title: Hawaii Five: Oh, No...

Okay, fine, maybe not.