
Video Picks for Perverts
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(1965)
Okay, the first two people Hercules specifically agrees to help out in the course of this movie end up impaled to death and shot in the chest with an arrow, respectively. Then, when he tries to rescue some girl from being sacrificed, the bad guys catch him in a net! Might want to leave this one off your resume, Herc. The bad guys put Hercules in a giant waffle maker, but when he's too tough to perforate the evil queen who's masterminding all these shenanigans decides to make him her love slave instead. Bitch ain't bad, but the brunette Hercules threw in with previously is considerably hotter so Hercules fakes the queen out and when the time is right he tells her to suck rainwater and starts busting the place up. Pretty much everybody on the queen's staff betrays her at this point (should've spread it around a little more, baby), so she goes to her silent partners the space aliens for help. The aliens are tired of her slutty incompetence though, so they squash her. When Hercules shows up several minutes later one of the aliens clocks him in the head, but naturally that just pisses him off so he starts knocking things over until the aliens' entire hideout collapses on top of them. And that's the end of that. Another challenge well met. You know, more or less.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.