The Bad News Bears were super popular in the 1970s. I forget why, but irregardless here's a pathetically obvious ripoff of them from the guys who made Friday the 13th Parts 1-3. If you're hoping this means that it's a movie about a Little League^©®™© team that gets slaughtered by a mad slasher then you're going to be as disappointed as I was, because this flick just shits out Sports Movie Plot #1 one more tiresome time. The only way a movie with a setup this photocopied, pointless, and lazy could possibly be any good is if there were tons of tits in it (not likely, since it's about little kids), or if they actually buckled down, put in some real effort, and came up with the cleverest, funniest jokes they possibly could.

The first fart is about seven minutes in.

Other "hilarious" bits include people dropping things, people falling down, people chasing each other while all sped-up like Benny Hill, and a part where I put my fist right through my fucking flat screen and had to go to the emergency room. It's funny because it's true. Astoundingly enough, there's no fat kid though. How they possibly made this movie and left out the fat kid is beyond me. Someone must have really been asleep at the wheel that day. (Actually it's pretty obvious that they were asleep at the wheel the entire time they were making this piece of crap, so that must've been the day someone finally drove over a cliff.) There is one possibly noteworthy happenstance in this flick though: at one point the kids see Star Wars, and later the main kid finally hits a homer by closing his eyes and making like Luke Skywalker when he turned off his targeting computer. That could very well make this the first movie ever to include a scene-specific Star Wars reference. Just thought you'd like to know, Kevin Smith.

Sadly, nothing else interesting or funny happens, so, when the cows are all accounted for, this piss pot is mostly just scenes of people not being good at baseball. And if I wanted to see that, Rays tickets really aren't that expensive. That's right, Rays, I said it. If you don't like it, stop making idle threats and get the fuck out of Tampa Bay, you extortionist pricks.