Okay, I get that sometimes you have to change shit around when you turn a book into a movie. Hell, some books don't have any shower scenes in them at all! But when a book is called I Am Legend and the movie version is called I Am Legend and you leave out the part where the main guy finds out that he's legend, there's no other word for it except "retarded". Seriously, what slack-jawed moron made that call? Whoever it was, I'll bet he shits himself a lot.

With the entire point of the story out of the way, all we're left with is a movie about the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fighting zombies, which doesn't sound so bad until it turns out that the zombies are goddamned cartoons. Look, even I will admit that sometimes cartoons are your best option; there's no other way they could've done the scene where the Fresh Prince is chasing all those deer through the city with his car, for example. Well, not without pissing off PETA, anyway, and we all know what assholes they can be. But there is NO FUCKING REASON ON EARTH for the zombies in this movie to be cartoons, except of course Hollywood's endless fucking obsession with using cartoon effects whenever possible, no matter how crummy or fake they ultimately look. Wake up, Hollywood- the emperor has no clothes. Not that anyone can tell, because he's a goddamned cartoon they added in post so no one is ever looking directly at him.

The truly amazing thing is that this flick still pulls off the occasional moment of badass. You just can't argue with the part where the Fresh Prince stumbles into that first room full of zombies, or where he has to kill his own dog with his bare hands. It just goes to show how truly epic this flick could've been if fewer retarded people had been involved. But for every cool part there's endless pathetic shit like the awful cartoon scene where the Fresh Prince is running down zombies with his SUV. For real, it looks like something out of Grand Theft Auto. And what in fuck's name is with the corny-ass happy ending? All it was missing was a goddamned rainbow. Maybe they couldn't figure out how to make a cartoon one.