
Video Picks for Perverts
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(2007)
What do leprechauns, Santa Claus, a chick who doesn't want to get married, and your little sister's virginity all have in common? That's right, they don't really exist. The movies are all about make-believe and imagination though, so the main chick in this flick really, truly doesn't want to get married. Naturally her (female) friends and family won't get off her tits about it, so finally she decides to punk the lot of them by sending out announcements saying that she'll be marrying herself. The broad playing her mom should have her SAG card revoked for her bug-eyed, double-take, slapsticky reaction to the invitation, but other than that the prank goes off without a hitch. Well, except for the fact that this TV show picks up on it and the whole thing turns into a media circus. This wouldn't be so bad, except that her sack-deficient boyfriend is on his period or something and can't fucking handle it. Actually a lot of people can't handle it, but this movie is fucking lazy so they all conveniently come around at the zero hour for no reason other than the fact that it's almost time for the movie to be over. Oh, and what movie about not needing a man would be complete without the chick in question ultimately ending up with a man? Seriously, this movie is so full of shit that it's an insult to itself. I did like that the wedding planner tells the DJ that if he plays the "Chicken Dance" he'll be fired on the spot though. That should be standard operating procedure at all weddings. Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.