You gotta respect a movie that gets right down to business- five minutes in and this fool is already melting! And as soon as he manages to get out of bed he's chasing down this fat nurse, who's so terrified that she runs right through a glass door, a move she hasn't pulled since that day they were giving out free donuts in the parking lot. Apparently the Incredible Melting Dude is pretty hungry too, because in addition to chasing people he starts killing the ones he can catch and eating them. Meanwhile, the military, sparing no expense, sends one guy out to look for him. (Okay, in their defense, it's not long before this number is doubled.) There's plenty of slime and gore, some boobies (Huzzah!), an indescribably awesome bit where this sap gets thrown into some power lines and slides down them whilst getting flash-fried the entire time, and, at the very end, what's left of Sir Melts-a-Lot is just casually mopped up by a janitor like so much morning-after puke. The acting sucks (the main guy who's hunting down the Melting Man is especially bad- he reacts to tragedy like I react to realizing that I'm out of Dr Pepper, but still have some Mr. Pibb), there's barely any plot at all, and they never even bother to explain exactly why this poor bastard is melting in the first place. It's fucking awesome.

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