You know what? If you failed science and/or got all your information from old safety videos like Duck and Cover you could probably buy that a dude might survive a nuclear explosion by hiding inside a refrigerator. But even a retard knows that you can't jump out of an airplane on a rubber raft, slide down a mountain, and fall off a goddamned cliff into a river without walking away dead. I have no problem with the end of this movie either. Hell, it's way more believable than a knight sitting alone in a cave for HUNDREDS OF YEARS. Nigga didn't even have a magazine to read. The only real problem with this flick is that it's satisfied with "good enough". For example, when they chase Indiana Jones into that prop town that's about to be nuked, why not continue the fight and bust the place up, using mannequins as weapons and driving through buildings and shit? Then, when they realize that a nuclear bomb is coming, there could be a big race to escape the blast zone. Instead, it's like they said "We'll just have him survive the bomb in some clever way. That's good enough." Or what about that huge rainforest-eating machine? They could've used that in a chase and had it chewing up entire trucks while people leapt to safety and all sorts of wild whatnot. Instead, it explodes before the chase even begins. "We'll just have another truck chase like in Part 1. That's good enough." Dudes, this is Indiana Jones. Stop being so fucking lazy.

That said, here's a list of genuinely cool things in this movie:

• The sense of danger/sense of fun drag race with the teenagers at the very beginning

• Russian commies as the bad guys. It's been way too long.

• That warehouse from Part 1 that you know you wanted to see again

• "You don't know him! YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!!"

• All the symbolism when Indiana Jones stands there looking at that mushroom cloud

• The motorcycle/car chase through the college campus

• The ancient cemetery where they find the crystal skull

• "You're a teacher?" "Part time."

• Useful safety facts about scorpions

• The tilting floor that gets them into the secret chamber under the boneyard

• A blade from the exploding rainforest-buster nearly slicing their truck in half

• Two people having a running swordfight while standing on two different trucks

• The chase alongside the cliff

• The sorry bastard who gets dragged into a killer ant nest

• Stairs that retract into the wall so you fall on spikes

• The throne room with all the freaky-ass crystal skeletons

• The epic destruction when the spoiler warning takes off

• That bit with the hat at the very end. Not until Part 6, you little punk.

As you can see, despite the laziness there's still plenty of awesome. It must be kind of sad to be so old and disappointed with how your life turned out that you can't even enjoy the shit you used to dig when you were a kid. I'm just saying, is all.