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Intruder

(2010)

Here's proof that when some people have a good idea, the best thing you can do is take it away from them. Even a senile drunk could've turned this into a pretty funny flick, but these clowns totally screwed it up. First off, the vast majority of the story involves hiding in a bedroom, but the bedroom they used looks like it's inside an abandoned condo that's been seized by the bank or something. There is some furniture, but there aren't any posters or pictures on the walls, there's no clothes on the floor, no clock, no lamp... This may be a sobering reflection on the current state of our economy, but it's pretty distracting in a movie about anything else. Not as distracting as the parts where the picture goes out of focus though. And then there's the hot, annoying girlfriend: why do we not see her tits? I know I always say that, but this time it's an important plot point. See, the story centers around the main guy not being able to break up with her, and showing us how amazing her tits are would help explain his character's motivation. (But what if her tits aren't amazing, you ask? Highly unlikely. You just don't hire an actress like that.) The worst thing about this movie though is... well, okay, not seeing the girlfriend's tits is the worst thing, but the second worst thing is the completely unnecessary flashback at the end that "explains" everything. We fucking get it, dick brain. We're not retarded.

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