Joe Santa Claus? Joe momma! Ha ha ha! So anyway, this salesman gets nailed: the front office says that he's the most expendable employee in the store, so he has to play Santa Claus this year. This totally sets him off, and he spends the next several minutes bitching & whining about his kraut ex-wife, who he met when he was stationed in Germany after the war. (Hmmm, apparently Soldier Joe doesn't listen so well.) He blathers on and on about the good times (teaching her the names of vegetables, smoking), and the bad (fights about his rampant sexism and overall laziness), but apparently the main reason they broke up was because he couldn't hold a job. So what's the first thing he does when she says she'll give him another chance? He takes an unannounced leave of absence from work! Good call, Mr. Expendable. Your can clean out your locker after the holiday.

And thus began the endless cycle of poverty, blame, and domestic violence that lead inevitably to the death of Mrs. Joe Santa Claus in 1954. Mr. Joe was sent to the gas chamber in 1956. Their daughter ran away after being placed in a home by the state and was never seen again. Merry Christmas!