Jurassic Park was such a piece of shit. It had, what, two good dinosaur attacks and one boss part where a truck chases some people down a tree? I actually thought Part 2 was way better, due to lowered expectations or whatever. Well, here's Part 3 and Part 3 in a series is usually when diminishing returns makes or breaks the mother, because if a Part 3 doesn't take in enough bread the people running the show almost always wrap it up and then start peddling some b.s. about how "it was always conceived as a trilogy". This time around a kid and his adult male "friend" (*cough*) get lost in Jurassic Park, so his parents and some other jokers (including the main guy from Part 1) show up to look for them. The kid is fairly annoying (it would've been a way better movie if they just found his skeleton), but his mom is pretty much hotness personified so I suppose that balances things out. Of course no one comes to a Jurassic Park movie to see a kid, or even tits; they come to see dinosaur attacks and there's plenty of those. Naturally most of the dinosaurs are cartoons, but fifteen years later the Jurassic Park movies are still the only movies that ever had good cartoon effects (sad, isn't it?) so it's not so bad. The whole "raptors were smart enough to set traps and write poetry and shit" angle is fucking retarded (and don't even get me started on the dinosaur that swallows a cell phone so that everyone can constantly hear it coming like the crocodile in Peter Pan*), but the pterodactyl attack is pretty cool, and, uh...

Actually, I guess that's about it.

*Who keeps calling that damn cell phone anyway? Didn't this guy let people know that he would be unavailable because he was going to look for his son on Dinosaur Island?