"Fangoria Presents..." I can't think of any phrase that's a bigger indicator that you're about to see a shitty movie (except of course "A Michael Bay Film"), and this one doesn't fail to disappoint. It's about some kid who inherits this lakeside dump and finds out that it's haunted by a witch who splits her time between making like Sophie B Hawkins on the cover of Whaler and climbing out of the water, showing off her tits, and killing people. Sounds great, right? Too bad the witch is a complete stick-fetcher. She definitely trumps the scab basket the kid was banging previously though, so I guess it's just barely believable that he would actually be impressed by her. That doesn't explain why we should have to look at her hideousity though. And even if you like ugly women this flick is still pathetic: what can you say about a movie that's so unambitious that when they travel back in time they don't go to the actual Renaissance, they go to a Renaissance fair? What a pile. Seriously, Fangoria, you need to stick to coming all over yourselves every time they make a new Friday the 13th or Saw sequel. It's really all you're good at.