Going on a crime spree with a hot chick is sexy and romantic.* Going on a crime spree with your hag mom is creepy and disturbing. And the undead crone they dug up to play the mom in this movie just makes it extra repulsive: watching her flirt and vamp it up made me puke so much and for so long that eventually I had to do it in shifts. No joke, this broad is so ancient and decrepit that she can barely walk: half the time she stumbles around like a zombie trying out its first pair of high heels after huffing ether for six straight hours. I was thoroughly convinced that before the movie was over she was gonna keel over and die on the spot, at which point she probably would've crumbled to dust, leaving nothing behind except a makeup stain in the shape of her face that can't be washed away. As for the story, it's completely embarrassing, full of over-the-top freaking out that makes "No wire hangers!" seem low-key, not to mention laughable comments like this:

Son: "Isn't it amazing what a person can get used to, what a person can just take for granted as normal?"

He's talking about how weird it is that we drink cow milk, but, see, he's really talking about his life. DO YOU GET IT? Worst of all, the big swindle that finally cooks their ponies is so beyond inane that it's totally unbelievable that anyone would actually expect it to work. And it doesn't, which just proves my point.

Supposedly this is based on a true story, and maybe the real-life version of the main bag was a legitimately smooth operator, but I can't believe for a second that someone as hideous, used-up, obnoxious, and obviously deranged as the movie version could possibly bamboozle anybody out of anything except maybe some spare change. And even then they'd probably throw it at her from a distance.