The oldest-looking 19-year-old I've ever seen (she must smoke a lot ) gets killed, and twenty years later her former husband and his new wife show up for the will reading of the guy who did it, who just happens to be his pop. They're not there for two seconds though before this shady old coot blames the husband for the death of his son, and not long after it also comes out that the dead dad conned some fools out of a shitload of money, and that the husband was once in the loony bin.

Is that enough backstory for you? Or do you want some more, tough guy?

So anyway, hubby inherits dad's house, our main couple moves in, and dumb shit starts to happen. The most asinine bit is when the dad's decrepit former housekeeper shows up and insists on making dinner:

Housekeeper: "I have made dinner in that kitchen every night for thirty years!"

Well bully for you, hag. We generally order in. Now get the hell out of my house. There's also petty theft, an accidental death, a home invasion, (more) accusations, murders, fighting, crying, assault with a deadly rifle, a pistol-whipping, a rifle-whipping, nightmares, infidelity, twists, revelations, self-serving justifications, skulldumbery, and more. I swear, all they left out was flag-burning, goat-shearing, and poodle farming. It's like someone set a random plot generator to "all" and then just left the room. For real, I can't even remember the last time I saw such an endless avalanche of meaningless, convoluted idiocy that didn't have the word "Ocean's" in the title. By the end I couldn't tell you what was going on, and the only reason I wasn't totally pissed off is because really, who gives a shit?

Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.