Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is the stupidest love story I've ever seen. Stupider than Serendipity ("I'll write my name and number in this book and leave it somewhere. If you can find it, we're meant to be together!" "Fuck you, bitch."), stupider than The Lake House ("Oh no, we live two years apart! An insurmountable eternity!" If you're a fucking mayfly, maybe.), even stupider than my first marriage. The non-stop hilarity begins back in black & white days with this Marine getting shipped out somewhere so classified that the movie won't even tell us. He writes his unappealing girl every chance he gets, but her pop hides all the letters and when she finds out she starts waving a gun around, accidentally shoots some broad, and then runs over a cop trying to escape!

It's a comedy of errors! By this point I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe, but it's not over yet. Nowadays rolls around and the main guy is still waiting for her to be paroled so they can get married, which doesn't seem likely since she keeps getting into the world's least sexy prison catfights. In the meantime he befriends this little boy, gets some on the side from the nurse he should've married (advantages: better looking, smarter, not in jail), and reads Robert McCammon novels. The only way this movie could've been any funnier is if a meteor landed on them the day she finally got out, but unfortunately that doesn't happen. Instead, the main guy has a stroke! Oh, the humanity! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Duh.

Moral: Love isn't just blind, it's blind, deaf, and dumb. Mostly dumb.