Of all of Stephen King's novels and stories, you know which one people really like? The Stand. Even though he wrote it back in the 1970s and has put out at least 600 books since, that one seems to be everybody's favorite. But does anyone make a movie called "Beyond the Stand" or "The Stand II: The Next Day"? No, they keep making sequels to the short story about a killer laundry press. I swear, ol' Steve-O probably wishes he was still on the sauce whenever one of these pops up on cable. This time around a goofy, bald plumber gets possessed by the evil laundry press, and, before you know it, he's feeding the thing hotties. Now, I've been in the supervillain biz for a long time and I know that there are almost as many reasons to kill hotties as there are hotties: to harvest the hormones you need to build your monster; to obtain a sexy body to transplant your fat, ugly wife's brain into; to appease the Devil; to stop the voices in your head... You'll notice that nowhere on that list though is "to have easier access to freshly-pressed shirts". I mean seriously, I'm no prude but let's at least try to keep things in perspective here. There's an almost-good bit where a crook breaks into the plumber's place and like slowly realizes that he's robbing a serial killer, and the girls are pretty damn cute, but everything else about this flick is so fucking dumb and boring that I could barely stand to sit through it. Heh. Stand to sit through it. That's pretty good.