At first I had zero interest in reviewing this movie, but when I found out that Debbie "Deborah" "Debbie" Gibson and Tiffany were both in it I realized just how many mega python jokes I could make, so here we are.

The vs. begins when Debbie Gibson steals some flying snakes and lets them loose in the Everglades. Okay, fine, they can't really fly- they just look like they're flying when they crawl out of the bag because the cartoon effects in this movie are that bad. The snakes grow into giant-size monsters overnight, and pretty soon they're killing everybody, including Tiffany's fiancé. Tiffany basically loses her mind at this point and decides to feed some experimental steroids to the local alligators so they'll turn into giant alligators and eat the snakes. "What choice do we have?" she says. (As a side note, there was already a giant alligator in this movie- it got one of the guys who was hunting the giant snakes earlier. I guess the people who made this were so talented and professional that they just forgot.) "Worthless" doesn't even begin to describe this cinematic sinkhole: the special effects aren't, the story is idiotic, and, if I may be so bold, the science is pretty questionable. To be fair the moviemakers know all this and try to make up for it by being funny, but they fail here too, unless quoting old Tiffany songs strikes you as the height of hilarity, in which case you probably already write for Family Guy. When all's said and dumb the only reason to watch this is for the twenty-years-too-late extended catfight between Tiff and Deb, and even that part wasn't worth getting my special towel out for. (Translation: they don't tear each other's clothes off.) Debette and the Tiffter obviously had a blast making this dumb flick and I'm glad they had a good time, but next time how about making a movie the rest of us can enjoy too?