Back in 1981 the movie Excalibur was super popular, even though nobody really liked it or actually bothered to see it. A ripoff was like inevitable, and here it is. It starts with this broad falling into a hole, where she meets Merlin. Merlin uses his magic to show her the past, which is where the real story goes down:

It's Camelot days, and everything's basically hunky-dory until King Arthur's wife gets queen-napped. Some knights go looking for her, and Art makes like he's gonna be right behind them but instead he just wanders around for a while, then goes back and hangs out at the castle. Well played, Your Majesty. Meanwhile, Morgan le Fay (who has hair straight out of a 1980s Heart video, except somehow worse) comes up with all these ridiculous plans to defeat the King, my favorite being when she dresses a high school science lab skeleton in a suit of armor and calls it an "undead knight". ("He's going to fight... that?" says her nephew. My sentiments exactly.) And what is Merlin doing all this time? Well, in one part he impresses his way into a chick's pants with card tricks (if I saw a cat trying this at a bar I think I'd have to kick his ass, and I just paid to watch it), and later he gets fucked over by this same chick and ends up trapped in a cave for 1000 years. There's also a pig girl who turns hot after someone marries her (wow, it's like the opposite of real life), and a fight between Lancelot and this absurd dragon (special effects courtesy the 1940s) that he's well on his way to losing until Merlin travels back in time and saves him, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever because if he could do that why didn't he time travel ages ago and fix everything? Oh, wait, someone explains that he didn't have the time. Seriously, fuck this movie.

Fun Fact: Looks like the Lords of Acid snagged the line "She has the body of a woman, she has the power to bewitch" from this flick. I'm pretty sure I'm the first person to figure this out, so I'll be expecting some kind of award.