Just knowing that there's a sequel to The Messengers is like coming home from a long vacation and finding the huge, juicy turd that's been stewing in your toilet bowl since the day you left. At first I held out some hope because I like evil scarecrow movies and the scarecrow in this one truly is a wicked-looking sumbitch, but the goddamned thing doesn't even make its big move until the last ten minutes of the movie! Apparently the moviemakers decided that the one thing their killer scarecrow flick didn't need was too much killer scarecrow. I guess this movie was made on opposite day or something. Oh, and by the way, script writing geniuses, if the guy foreclosing on your farm dies, that doesn't mean the farm is suddenly saved. As a general rule, your better-run banks will just assign the account to someone else.

I will say though, this is one of those rare movies where I'd like to see what happens after they defeat the monster. I mean, until she actually sees the scarecrow in action the main guy's wife pretty much blames him for all the murders. How do you get back the trust when your wife thinks so little of you that she has no problem believing you're capable of a ruthless killing spree? "Well, you have to admit, it did look kind of bad, honey. I guess that's why they say that when you assume you make an ass out of u and me. Ha ha! Seriously though, give me some time to wrap my head around this and eventually I'll stop hiding the cutlery." There's thirty years of happy ending I wouldn't want to slog through.