Wow, this movie starts with the trials & tribulations of a keyboard-reliant band that sports at least one member who thinks Steve Perry is badass. If it's even possible to rock any less or be a bigger fag I'd sure like to see it. Oh, they all hate hot, blonde pussy too. Well, there you go.

Since the flick isn't really about this band there's obviously a lot of dicking around going on, but the actual story finally begins when the main kid comes home early from camp and his house is completely deserted. Even the furniture is gone. Don't sweat it kid, my parents pulled that one every time I went to camp, and once when I just spent the night at a friend's house. Actually, his parents got carted off by the Witness Protection Program, and the main problem with this stupid flick is that the kid doesn't know that, but we do. In fact, they tell us everything before the kid finds out, so there's no mystery or suspense or anything. Why not just tell us how it ends too? Then we wouldn't have to bother watching it. Stupid assholes. The main kid in this was also the main kid in It's Your Move and he grew up to be the main guy in Arrested Development, so he's like a national hero and there's no way I'm gonna talk shit about him (even if he was also in Teen Wolf Too), but everyone else involved with this aborted miscarriage can smoke my throbbing pole.