At the end of the last movie they cornered the mummy in this spacious New England home and then burned it to the ground, much to the chagrin, no doubt, of the person who owned the place. Afterwards the main guy* married his girl, and they lived happily ever after. ("Romance Scores Triumph Over Terror Reign".) You can't keep a good mummy down though (Or this one either. Ha ha!), so somehow it pops back to not being a little pile of ashes and goes on the rampage again. I kid because it's stupid, but truth be told this is far and away the best of the old-school mummy movies: the mummy walks right through fences and walls, gets attacked by a hound dog, busts up a museum, takes out this backdoor bro who tries to cock block him, and racks up a fairly decent body count, including the main chick! (Looks like romance doesn't score a triumph this time. Tough break, main guy.) I also liked the fact that no one wasted any time blaming all this trouble on anything but the mummy. It's about damn time these people showed some sense. All this plus a little dog that may or may not be named "Penis", and a part where this old lady almost falls into a pit they dug to trap the mummy. Oh, if only that would've happened. Talk about hilarious.

Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.