This starts with a bunch of vacant-eyed, mediocre broads shaking their pussies in 1980s style leotards. I think some of them were retarded too. It's pretty disturbing. In keeping with the retard motif, Crispin Glover shows up next. Crispin and his buddy blow it with some ugly whores (as their friend points out, they literally couldn't get laid in a whorehouse), and then the main story finally starts. It seems the buddy failed French, but his pop wants him to get into Yale so he hires this dame to help him pass his makeup exam and along the way she also helps him pass his getting laid final. There's lots of tits in this movie, but the only truly hot chick is the one the main kid sees at the phone booth (remember phone booths?) and fantasizes about. And what the fuck is up with the song they play the first time he nails the tutor? I swear, it had my dog bleeding from the ears and broke every piece of glass in the place. In the end the kid passes French, but then he jumps to a bunch of conclusions, flips out on the tutor, takes off, and wipes out on his Faggio. I was just about to write him off as king of the dipshits, but he recovers nicely by laying groundwork with a younger, hotter chick. Well played, kid. The tutor went on to be the mom in It's Your Move, and Crispin Glover went on to get brutally murdered by Jason Voorhees in Part 4. Everybody wins.

I wonder if this movie would have been as sexy if the main kid had failed calculus?