Okay, Black Beauty is a fucking horse. How is a horse supposed to have an adventure inside a haunted house? What, do they take off the roof and airlift him in with a helicopter? Actually there's quite a bit going on in this show- kids are panning for gold and spying on a boat, several shady characters are putting in overtime skulking, plus there's a court hearing and some intrigue involving a barrel and a tin box. There's no way in fuck I'm gonna watch any more of these in an attempt to figure out what it all means though, so we'll just concentrate on what happens at the haunted house.

Actually, haunted hovel is more like it. Seriously, what a dump. No wonder the old lady who lives there isn't afraid to die. The girl I've pegged as the main chick is looking after the old lady because she's "feeling poorly", but let's not kid ourselves here- granny's on her last. It's a deathwatch. Sure enough, she croaks, and then, later that night... nothing happens. That's right, there's absolutely no haunting in this program whatsoever, not even a fake one. Calling this episode "Haunted House" is about as honest as calling it "Space Bees Attack!" And Black Beauty's big contribution to the story? Goddamned horse barely even shows up! What, was it his fucking day off or something? For real, not one single thing promised by the title of this show actually appears in it! What a load of, well, horseshit.