A stolen alien corpse in the trunk of a car? Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, Repo Man, which is one of the greatest movies of all time. This flick? Not so much. Actually the alien in this movie doesn't stay in the trunk for long- eventually the guy who swiped it mails it to someone. (You'd think this would cost a bundle, but judging by the way he's swinging the box around dead aliens only weigh about as much as, well, an empty box. It's called "acting" dude. You should try it sometime.) Okay, I understand that this plan was born of desperation, but do you have any idea how fucking ripe that thing would be by the time it arrived at its destination? Seriously, mail somebody a cheeseburger sometime and see what happens. This flick isn't concerned with reality though, so E.T. arrives relatively undamaged, not that anything really comes of it. In fact, nothing comes of anything that happens in this movie, not even when the main bad guy gets busted in public, in broad daylight, carrying a croaked alien in a box, after accidentally confessing the Government's entire UFO cover-up on live TV. You'd think that the world would find this to be a relatively astounding circumstance, but nope; according to the main chick's parting comments, no one really cares about this Earth-changing event at all or ever mentions it again. Talk about a lack of imagination. Just so we're clear, I'm referring to the asshat who wrote this movie, not the people of Earth.

You know what would've made this flick ten times better? If a bunch of stray cats were constantly following whoever was currently carrying the alien around. That would've been hilarious.