There's nothing like buying a DVD so fucking cheap that the package it comes in is entirely disposable. That's right, the case this DVD comes in is cardboard, and you have to tear it apart to get the DVD out. Afterwards, your DVD may be stored on the floor, or possibly in another case that wasn't being used for anything important, like the one that Drake CD came in. Actually, a even better place for this DVD would be the garbage, because it contains four episodes of One Step Beyond, an old TV show that's best described as a combination of The Twilight Zone and lies.

Episode 1: There's a story going around that if a boxer sees the ghost of this cat named Paddy, he'll die in the ring. Well, the ghost shows up, conveniently wearing a sweater that says "Paddy" on it in gigantic block letters. Thanks for clarifying that for us, One Step Beyond. Condescending assholes. Anyway, everyone who sees the ghost does indeed die, but due to a totally unexpected twist that I will admit was pretty clever. The real gimmick though is that every episode of this program is supposedly 100% true. What a load. If you ask me, the likelihood that this story isn't total horseshit can't be more than, say, 5%.

Episode 2: This couple rents an "unfriendly" house, where the husband gets possessed by the ghost of a pissed-off sea captain and turns into a booze-swilling, rabbit-killing, sea shanty-singing dickhead. Okay, fine he doesn't really sing any sea shanties. It would've been hilarious if he did though. Ultimately he flies into a drunken sea rage and accidentally burns the place down, after which he gets better. Likelihood that this malarkey is really true: 0%

Episode 3: A guy who proves that he's invented a dirt-cheap additive that will turn water into gasoline disappears immediately. Likelihood that this story is true: 100%

Episode 4: This dude leads a cop to the chick he murdered, confesses on the spot, and then disappears, but later it turns out that said dude was sleeping through church in front of a million witness at the time. Needless to say our cop looks like a tin-plated moron, and the dude in question, and his wife, are pretty irritated. ("A letter will be written!" says the wife. How I wanted to smack her.) As it transpires though the dude really did do it, and his ESP astral projection or whatever it is shows up again just in time to confess some additional details and prevent the cop from getting thrown off the force. Of course the likelihood that this story is really true falls somewhere between 0% and "Oh, fuck off," but if it did happen this dude's psychoanalyst would have a field day. I mean really, getting thrown under the bus by your own astral projection? Talk about self-loathing.

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