
Video Picks for Perverts
|
|
(2009)
Imagine you're playing a magical game of Monopoly, and whenever someone draws a card they win second place in a beauty contest or go directly to jail for real. Now imagine that instead of the usual options all the cards say "YOU DIE IN SOME HORRIBLE, STUPID WAY". Well, that's this movie in a nutshell. Throw in Faith the Vampire Slayer (probably wishing she was anywhere else), a couple of chicks that should pose for a swimsuit calendar called "Mostly Mediocre", and some hilariously fake cartoon snakes, and you've got yourself a movie. Not a movie anyone would actually want to see, but hey, that's not my problem. And dredging up that old "one always lies, one always tells the truth" riddle to wrap things up was beyond lame, not to mention the fossilized bit where someone is forced at gunpoint to dig their own grave. Are you kidding me? If my choices are "get shot now" or "do a bunch of manual labor, then get shot" I'll take the first option every time. Seriously, if you're ever in this situation take it from me: the guy with the gun isn't going let you go because he's impressed with your shoveling technique, so let that asshole do the work. Anyone who actually digs their own grave is a grade-A sap. |
| All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2011 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for referential purposes meet fair usage requirements and are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise. This site doesn't pay for itself, you know. | |
YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.