
Video Picks for Perverts
|
|
(2007)
Orlando Jones? Really? Honestly, is there anyone out there who actually likes this annoying tool? If he doesn't get eaten by the giant crocodile I'm gonna be super pissed. That's right, this is once again yet another giant crocodile movie, although it hedges its bets by saying that it's based on a true story, I guess so they can sell it to Syfy and Lifetime later. This also allows them to throw some real-life third world political shit into the mix, which is definitely to their benefit because it's way cheaper to show people getting shot than it is to show them being eaten by a roided-out crocodile. The croc in question doesn't exactly go hungry though, and I guess there is suspense (Will Orlando Jones die? Please?), but this flick doesn't hold a candle to Rogue, the other big-budget giant crocodile movie that came out in 2007. Now that flick is legitimately badass, and it has a lot more crocodile action than this also-ran does. Hell, the best scene in this movie is when some bad guys show up and chase the good guys around with a truck while shooting a rocket launcher at them. The good guys are on foot so I can appreciate the hilarious overkill, but I came here for the crocodile. Save the action movie crap for Die Hard 12. Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.
|
| All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2011 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for referential purposes meet fair usage requirements and are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise. This site doesn't pay for itself, you know. | |
YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.