People who talk about Atlantis (these people usually smell like patchouli) always make it sound like it was a land of magic and wonder and amazing technology that was powered entirely by rainbows and clean-burning unicorn farts. When it rises from the sea in this movie though, we learn the brutal truth: Atlantis was really run by punk rock bikers who want to kick the shit out of everybody. They start by invading the closest island (on motorcycles, of course), trashing everything in sight, and killing anyone who crosses their path. A few people manage to escape though, and a some of them are pretty badass: the main guy is so chill that when he finds out Atlantis wants to take over the world all he says is "Crap!" The main cats organize the survivors and there's a huge battle with guns, axes, swords, flamethrowers, and Molotov cocktails (and of course the good guys pull the old "decapitating a biker by stringing wire across the road" gag). Eventually some of the good guys manage to escape in a helicopter, but instead of heading for the hills they decide to - thank you, truth in advertising - raid Atlantis. Atlantis turns out to be pretty lame, but you just can't argue with a movie called "Raiders of Atlantis" that actually delivers, even if it is kind of ridiculous and the end is totally incomprehensible. It could've used some fucking tits though.

Useful Fact: Chicks who believe in Atlantis are generally pretty easy.