Truth be told, the original Rock 'n' Roll High School was a pretty stupid movie. The only good thing about it is that it happens to feature the Ramones. With that in mind, I'm going to avoid making any obvious, lazy comparisons and just judge this one on its own merits. I have all the faith in the world that it will pass with flying colors.

So, this time around it's the same school, except now the coolest rocker around is one of the Coreys. You know, in hindsight, that might just be the best summation of 1990s music I've ever heard. Anyway, Corey fronts this band called the "Eradicators" who...

Okay, hold the mayo. The Eradicators? I'm no Jello Biafra, but off the top of my head I can think of a shitload of better band names than that:

The Hood Trophies
Ku Klux Khrist
The A-List Shitstains
Mr. Horton's Bike Shop
The Chrome Fist of Liberace
My Homo Brother
Putrid Succubi
Hippie Refrigerator
Dey's Takin' Everyt'ing!
The Wrong Shoes
Jonni Hotbox
Racist Swim Club
Hyperslut
Sonic Death Bunny
The Kosher Skinheads
The Band Without Qualities
Stop Hitting Yourself
Bob Dole featuring Bob Dole
Life Explained
My Mother the Whore
Insipid
Hurts to Wipe
Wendi Nix & the Nobodies
#1 with a Mullet
Ice Cream Heartache
My First Rape
Consecutive Simpletons
Porch Monkey
Suddenly Mongoose
Fuck the Kids
Hawley Smoot & the Tariffs
A Fistful of Pussy
AIDS

And what the fuck is with Corey and his friends worshipping old appliances? Is that supposed to be a joke? Because if it is, I don't get it. In fact, a lot of the jokes in this movie are completely incomprehensible; it's like they were written in some alternate universe where humor is slightly different than it is here. Like Canada or something. Still, a few bits do work, plus there's tons of vandalism and destruction (always entertaining), a super hot substitute teacher, plenty of Ramones shit in the background (respect), Mojo Nixon shows up as the Spirit of Rock 'n' Roll, and the theme song (by The Pursuit of Happiness) kicks some serious ass. This may not be the popular opinion, but frankly this is no worse than Part 1, and if they had dispensed with Corey it might even have been slightly better. Since it was the 1990s they should've had Nirvana show up too, that would've been hilarious. Especially later, when Kurt Cobain inevitably got up on his pretentious high horse to piss and moan about how much he regretted being in this goofy mess.

Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.