I wouldn't say that killer bat movies are a dime a dozen, but they're definitely overvalued, so it's nice to see this one bust out a couple of gimmicks to make it stand out from the rest of the flock. The first is that it's made to look just like a sub-par 1970s horror movie, right down to having a goofy Scream Theatre intro like it's playing on some local TV station circa 1980. This would be beyond fucking cool, if they didn't fuck the whole thing up. First off, back in the 1970s moviemakers used a little something called a "tripod". They didn't just wave the camera around like a drunken sailor on whore leave. And second, for some completely inexplicable reason the main hottie has a 2000s-era cell phone. People in the 1970s didn't have modern cell phones, you goddamned idiots. Seriously, I hate dilholes who think that the world and everything in it popped into existence the day they were born and will end the day I finally get fed up with their self-centered bullshit and kill them. Rest assured that there was a whole range of human experience that occurred before you came along, choad breath, and, just for the record, surprisingly little of it involved looking at Internet porn in the dark while crying. Fortunately, the second gimmick this movie came up works way better: it seems that everyone these particular killer bats bite turns into a bona-fide zombie! (As opposed to a fraudulent zombie, obviously.) This implies to me that the bats are zombies themselves, and you really can't go wrong with a concept like "zombie bats". It's a fun, wild idea that they do almost nothing with- in short, it's your typical sub-par 1970s horror movie. So in the end this flick is all right, although the whole cell phone thing still irks me to no end. Seriously, the fact that they have a cell phone doesn't even play into the story, so why did the moviemakers bother putting it in there at all? Stupid assholes.

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