If you read my review of Sandlot 2 (and you should have. You should read all my reviews. What else have you got to do? Seriously.) you know I got super pissed because it was EXACTLY the same as Sandlot 1. In fact, I'm pretty sure in some regions they just put copies of Sandlot 1 in Sandlot 2 boxes and sold it that way. Well, when I popped this DVD in I was prepared to be furious again, but as it turns out Part 3 is as different as possible. How different? This movie has time travel.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The story starts with this baseball guy who plays for the Dodgers. He's pretty good, but the rest of the team is falling all over each other like the Three Stooges on an ether binge. You know, I've always wondered why a real sports team would let someone use their name and trademarks and shit in a movie about how much they suck. That can't be good for morale. Anyway, the guy's a cock, so naturally he gets knocked out and goes back in time, where he gets a chance to fix all the mistakes he made. I know that happens to everybody, but... What? Yes it does. If you don't remember, that means you've already done it. That's right, your life used to be worse than it is now. Ha ha! So anyway, this flick is pretty goddamned stupid. I mean, what the hell is with the part where the kids rob a house that turns out to be booby-trapped with baseball equipment? On what planet is that not completely retarded? Then there's the side plot about "saving the sandlot"; what are the odds that they'll play a baseball game to settle the matter? It's fucking pathetic. And yes, there were no PDAs, cell phones, or eBay in 1976. How clever of this movie to point that out.

The only part I liked is when they accidentally called attention to the major flaw in every baseball movie ever made. The other team has a ringer? Walk him.