
Video Picks for Perverts
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(1960)
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't the main guy in Sea Hunt supposed to be like this world-renowned expert diver or something? You sure wouldn't know it from this episode- him and his buddy fuck up every single time they dive and the buddy is constantly coming back up with the bends. Dude spends more time in the depressurization chamber than I spent in my last apartment. For real, it practically turns into a running gag, although dude's fiancée doesn't see it that way- bitch, bitch, bitch, nag, nag, nag. If she was on the show every week they'd have to rename it "Sea Cunt". Anyway, the "living fossil" they're looking for isn't your grandma, it's the coelacanth, a fish that everyone thought was extinct until one turned up in a seafood restaurant or something in the 1930s. You still hear people talk about this occasionally, even today, even though the 1930s were quite a while ago and I'm pretty sure way more interesting shit has happened since then, even in a field as boring as fishology (or whatever studying fish is called). Our heroes' super high-tech plan is to catch the coelacanth with a net, but it's faster than them (smarter too, probably) so they never do get the damn thing. Seriously, what a couple of assclowns. What a stupid program. Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.