Why do they even put "National Lampoon's..." in front of movies anymore? Those two words are like a cold sore on the lip of a chick who isn't all that good-looking to begin with. Believe it or not, there was a time - probably before you were born - when National Lampoon was one of the funniest things around. Don't believe me? Well, go watch National Lampoon's Vacation, then... uh... watch it again.

Fortunately, this National Lampoon movie is actually pretty good. It's about these high school fuckups who accidentally scam their way into a trip to meet the President, and all the booze and dope-fueled antics they get into en route (that's French for "road trip"). All the classics from your high school years are here: theft, destruction of property, underage drinking, drugs, driving under the influence... Even better, this flick is overflowing with hot, hot, hot chicks. Even the teacher who chaperones the trip and the singer of the square-ass Mormon band that plays the senior assembly are hot. Here's the order I would fuck them in:

1. The Mormon chick from the band. She obviously needs it, and if I rocked her hard enough she might come over to our side.

2. The token slut. People tend to take sluts for granted, like they'll always be there and ready to go. Sometimes they start to feel so taken advantage of that they get married or something and stop being sluts altogether. I for one am not gonna let that happen.

3. The lesbian. Best legs of the bunch, and if I rocked her hard enough she might come over to our side.

4. The chaperone and the preppie girl/main chick. Three-way.

I know some people - girls, mostly - care about plot and logic even more than they care about babes and antics, and they've got that covered too; nothing completely unbelievable happens, and even the behind-the-scenes scheme this senator has going on to fuck their meeting with the President up is frighteningly realistic. Of course, the in-front-of-the-scenes scheme the crossing guard has going on - he thinks Star Trek is real and the President is a Romulan - is totally absurd, but I'm all for anything that makes Star Trek fans look ridiculous(er) so I'll let that slide. There's also a fatality, a guy set on fire, an out-of-control hotel party, and good use of one of the lamer Who songs. I do have to subtract a couple of points for not showing any of the chicks naked though. I mean really, the movie is rated R for chrissake. Did somebody lose their dick at the bus station or something?