Okay, what is with the main guy in this flick? He looks like he should be sitting in someone's back yard (maybe his own, maybe not) with his feet in the kiddie pool knocking back a can of Coors Light and wondering where his life went wrong, not starring in a movie. Seriously, where did they find this slob? Passed out behind the Circle K? This loser aside, a movie about sharks swimming around Venice killing everybody should've been awesome, but naturally they fucked everything up and it ends up being a laughable piece of shit that stinks almost as bad as Venice itself. First off, they mostly fake Venice. I mean, they make sure we know it's supposed to be Italy by having people say "capishe?" as many times as possible, but the whole thing looks chintzy as fuck. Half the time I couldn't tell if they were supposed to actually be in Venice or just watching it on television. If your movie's whole gimmick is that it happens in Venice, the one thing you probably shouldn't skimp on is actually making the movie in Venice. Stupid assholes. And the story doesn't have anywhere near enough sharks in it; mainly everyone is running around trying to find some treasure hidden in this underground Indiana Jones-style temple (is there an "underground" in Venice? Whatever.), and the sharks just happen to get in the way. The sharks do manage to snuff a couple of dipshits, but even these parts are pathetic- it's just a bunch of thrashing around and some red and sometimes you see a bit of Discovery Channel shark footage. Being attacked by a shark in real life is less chaotic and incomprehensible. Oh, and the fakeout where the slob gets attacked by a shark, it bites off his leg, and then he wakes up and just the part about losing his leg was a dream? Fuck you, Sharks in Venice, fuck you and die screaming.