Shutter - 2008

Shutter

(2008)

Did you ever take a picture and not notice until later that a reflection or lens flare or something messed it up? Well, there's a name for that: "spirit photography".

A guy drags his new wife to Japan and she's hatin' it, mainly because every girl he introduces her to is like a hundred times hotter than she is (especially his little assistant- nice). Oh, and also she's being haunted by a vengeful spirit. The ghost shows up every time somebody takes a photograph, and since they're surrounded by Japanese people there's just no escaping it! Ha ha! Get it? Because Japanese people always take a lot of pictures? Yeah, yeah, I know that's only when they're on vacation, but when Japanese people aren't on vacation all they do is drink novelty beverages and watch hentai and I've already made like three tentacle rape jokes this month.

Anyway, there's nothing here you haven't seen before, and except for the part I'll call "the piggyback reveal" it's all pretty boring. I am so over Asian horror movies and American remakes of Asian horror movies and sequels to the American remakes of Asian horror movies. It's time somebody did something about it, and as usual the only one willing to step up to the fucking plate is Mr. Satanism. I am hereby officially forming BAH! (Ban Asian Horror!); if you're as sick of this lame-ass crap as I am, join here. Asians welcome, especially if you're a sailor suit-sporting, underage schoolgirl. Or dressed like one.

Addendum: BAH! (Ban Asian Horror) has been officially scuttled by Ning, which is why you've been clicking on the word "here" for fifteen minutes now and still haven't gone anywhere. If you are indeed a sailor suit-sporting schoolgirl, e-mail me and we'll discuss making a little group of our own.

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