Seeing your parents murdered by Santa Claus is bad enough, but being raised by Catholics and working retail during Christmas? No wonder this guy goes bonkers. The problem with this flick is that it takes way too long for the main guy to completely wig out- all we get until then is a violent robbery, a car-jacking, some tits, a throat slitting, some more tits, a little kid punching out Santa, the Krull board game (who knew?), Santa scaring a little girl who sits on his lap, even more tits, and some sexual assault. You know, I totally forgot what my complaint was. Anyway, when he finally does flip it's nothing short of awesome: he strangles a guy with Xmas lights, stabs a topless hottie in the stomach, trepans his boss with a roofing hammer, shoots this broad with a bow & arrow, impales another topless chick on some antlers, throws a dude through a window, decapitates a sledder, and axes a cop (not like when a black person "axes" you for directions, I mean with an actual axe). The end is even more brilliant: first the pigs blow away a completely innocent Santa in front of all these orphans, then they blow away the right Santa... in front of the same orphans! Can you imagine how fucked up those kids are gonna be? That's like twenty built-in sequels right there.

Homework Assignment: "Santa's Watching", the main song from this flick, sounds enough like a normal Christmas tune that you could totally trick your caroling party, or possibly even a church congregation, into adding it to their repertoire. Free comics to anyone who pulls this off and sends me video of it.