I'm pretty sure that showing how smart someone is by having them get all the answers right while watching Jeopardy! is movie shorthand for being last in your screenwriting class. And it just gets worse from there: the story's about three annoying douches who go on a road trip movie and have a bunch of dumb, unfunny adventures, all like hilariously underscored by the fact that one of them is croaking of leukemia. I can't stop laughing! So what kind of wacky shit do they get up to? Well, in one part, they hit this bear with their van, so they put the one guy's coat on it. Because that's what you would do, right? Except the bear isn't actually dead, so it walks off with the coat. Ha ha! Yeah, I don't know what they were thinking either, because almost nothing anyone in this movie does makes a lick of goddamned sense. Like what is with the part where the dying guy suddenly decides to marry his buddy's girl and everyone involved is totally okay with it? But it's all right, because he doesn't actually fuck her on their wedding night, he lets the buddy do that. I'm sorry, but that was just icky. For real, no one acts the way the people in this movie act- they're like robots from the future that learned how to behave by watching this movie, which is such a total paradox that two of my ex-wives just ceased to exist, the Earth now revolves around the sun, and dolphins are no longer our allies against the French. Hell, it's all so asinine that it made me wish that I had the leukemia, because then I'd probably be out somewhere making the most of the time I had left instead of watching dumb crap like this. The end is the absolute limit though: our main guy dies in his hotel room while his friends are out boozing on the beach, and then they honor his memory by making a minor spectacle at his funeral (I'm sure the family appreciated that), then ditching out before it's even over to knock back wine coolers at the appliance store and share a super-personal moment with a bunch of dumbfounded onlookers. And of course this is all played out like it's super life-affirming, not just tacky and absurd. Give me a breaking fuck. You know how I would have ended this movie? I would have had the sick guy reveal that he was faking it the entire time just so he could goad his friends into having this wild, expensive adventure. At which point they would be so pissed off, that they killed him.