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SkinWalker: Curse of the Shaman

(2005)

Jesus Christ, Anchor Bay will put out any goddamned shit these days. Remember when they were actually cool? In this one, a hottie and a brother are investigating this Indian curse. They spend most of the movie wandering around talking to people (including Scotty from Star Trek, hitting a new low even for him), and things just plod along boring the shit out of everybody until finally the ghost/demon/monster/whatever the hell it is attacks. The monster does look kind of cool, but the only real reason to sit through this is the main chick: she's so cute I'd let her fuck me up the ass. I think the monster agrees with me too, because when it finally catches her instead of immediately ripping her apart like it did everyone else it decides to dry hump her first, giving her a chance to escape by blasting it in the face with breath spray. If we saw more of the monster and the main chick wore some skimpier outfits I probably would've recommended this dumb flick, but we don't and she doesn't, so fuck it.



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