This movie goes down in the "magic" city of Miami (by "magic", of course, they mean "rife with shallow coke whores"). There's two retarded kids: one spends most of her time riding around in a convertible with her hot sister, while the other one is forced to sell black roses on the street by some cat who's in hock to the mob, "the mob" being represented by a bald guy with snakeskin boots and an awful moustache who runs his operation out of a room full of stuffed & mounted animals. Oh, and there's an angel, too. She looks like she's moonlighting from her job at Hooters and only the little tard kids can see her. Eventually the sisters end up at the mobster's mansion, where there's even more mounted animals. (In one room alone I counted a wolf, a deer head, a lion, two zebras, and some sort of ox, and in another room there's several sharks, a polar bear, and an entire fucking giraffe. Okay, seriously, what the fuck??? The taxidermy budget for this flick must have been in the millions.) The hot older sister proceeds to try on several outfits in one of the bedrooms, which has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but it's still the best part of the movie. Rawr. Meanwhile, in another part of the mansion, Baldy McMob is having a meeting with a couple of his boys. It doesn't go so well though, so he caps them both on the spot and just leaves their bodies floating in his swimming pool. Then he takes the sisters to the country club where their dad works for the two-cent tour and a quick lunch.

And that's when the giant singing carrot shows up.

If you live to be a hundred years old and a day you will never see anything as incomprehensible and wrong-headed as this idiotic movie. It's like they drew a bunch of words and phrases out of a hat - mafia, giraffe, angel, snakeskin boots, polar bear, giant carrot - and had to come up with a story that included all of them. But wait, there's more: don't miss the kidnapping, the voodoo ceremony, the primo hottie who gets strangled by Baldy McMob for stealing his blow, the end where we find out that nobody learned their lesson or was brought to justice, or the constant shout-outs to the real-life retard school that probably put up the money to make this wretched bucket of ass.

God I hope they sued.