I'll admit that I'm kind of fascinated by Count Chocula and his friends; it's too bad we don't see much of them anymore since a bunch of fat people made it illegal for their commercials to be on television. (You probably think I'm making some weird joke that you don't quite get, but I'm not kidding. Look it up.) But even if you like Boo Berry, Yummy Mummy, and all the rest, this CD is a hellacious hose job; it costs ten fucking dollars, but it's so goddamned cheap and lazy that you'd feel ripped off even if it came free in one of their boxes of cereal. There's some introduction parts, but mainly it's four "sound adventures", which apparently is code for "a bunch of racket and nonsensical horseshit". The first two are a mix of bad puns ("You can count on that!"), piano that sounds like the crap some old rummy would play during a silent movie, Count Chocula and Franken Berry arguing about how to pronounce "laboratory" (apparently Frank is British), and people throwing shit around. It's not stories, it's not sound effects, and it's only technically music. It sucks beyond belief. The third one is even worse though: it's just five minutes of somebody walking! Again, you probably think I'm exaggerating, but hey, it's your ten bucks so you go ahead and do whatever you want. It's no skin off my dick. The last "adventure" is the monsters playing hide & seek; at least this one ends with a song, but it's on the same track as six minutes of fucking around so if you just want to listen to the song itself you have to fast forward through a bunch of crap and it's a huge pain in the ass. Well done, douchemongers. Seriously, the assholes who made this put in so little effort it's unbelievable. If I hired some jokers to make a CD and they came back with this garbage, even if I'd only given them 24 hours to do it, I'd kill every last one of them. Twice. I know Count Chocula and company are just sugar shills, but Christ, even they deserve better than this. It's so goddamned worthless that I'm going to publicly chastise the hacks who put it together. So take a bow, Tony Braasch and Mark Flora, you third-rate slackasses. You fucking suck.