I'm pretty sure "trademark" isn't actually part of the title, but apparently the people who made this movie weren't taking any chances and lord knows I wouldn't want to infringe on their precious fucking trademark. Even though I'm relatively certain that "starcrossed" is just a regular word in the dictionary. Talk about douchey.

Anyway, it's the same old "alien on the run" crap, except this time the alien is a chick so goddamned fine that a chump like you doesn't even have the right to look at her. She hooks up with the main guy from Bad Influence, and after the "confused and amazed by mundane crap" phase of the movie is over they get chased around by evil aliens (who like to blow shit up) and government agents (who like to listen in on people screwing). At least the Bad Influence guy manages to nail her a couple of times (fuckers blew up his car- he better get some ass). In the end she makes it back to her spaceship (it's just a bunch of neon tubes! Fucking '80s...) and escapes, leaving the main guy to deal with the horde of government cats with semi-automatics who show up two seconds later. They look fucking pissed too. We don't see what happens next, but I think it's a pretty safe bet that they shot him.

"This is your spaceship? Fuck you, I'm going home."