Remember how the TV series Firefly started out with the crew of the Serenity finding an incomprehensibly fine chick hidden in a shipping crate? Well, this movie starts out the exact same way, except replace "incomprehensibly fine" with "puke ugly". Seriously, whatever the bad guys want with this hideous bitch, they can have her. The rest of the movie continues to rip off Firefly at every possible opportunity, except when it's ripping off Lost (random chuckleheads get stranded together after a crash) and Starship Troopers (cartoon bugs attack everybody). The differences of course are that Firefly was actually good, the people in Lost were at least a little interesting, and when the bugs in Starship Troopers got shot it didn't look like they used Mountain Dew for blood. Basing your entire movie on ideas you swiped from other flicks is bad enough, but then turning around and hilariously bungling every single one of them is beyond ridiculous. It's the movie equivalent of being so poor that you have to shit in a bucket, and then somehow getting the bucket stuck on your head. There's only two good things about this flick: 1) one of the peripheral chicks is Shelly "V-Rod" Varod, who's pretty hot, and 2) there's currently no law on the books saying you ever have to watch it.