You know, I couldn't care less that they started Star Trek over from scratch, but if that's what they felt they needed to do it would've been nice if they just fucking did it instead of half-assing the whole thing with a bunch of "alternate reality" horseshit. I mean really, owners of Star Trek, it should be pretty obvious after three and a half cunt-awful Fake Generation movies that Star Trek fans will watch any moronic garbage that falls out of your rectums, so why jump through a bunch of hoops just to assure them that all the old movies still "happened" in some other make-believe universe that's different from this movie's make-believe universe? It's like letting your kids believe in Santa Claus until they're 20.

That idiocy aside, the rest of this flick is a typical Star Trek movie: there's gigantic spaceships flying out of huge lightning storms in space, pointy-eared aliens raising hell, vaguely-defined death weapons that can destroy entire planets... Frankly I don't know why I even bothered to sit through this crap yet again. Say what you will about the one where they time-traveled to the 1980s to steal whales, at least it was something different. Actually, now that I think about it that one started with a gigantic, vaguely-defined planet-destroying death weapon flying out of a huge lightning storm in space too, didn't it? God, Star Trek movies are so fucking lazy.

On the plus side, the chicks in this version are all wearing the short skirts again. That's something at least.