No pictures, no video, not even a damn comic book so you can "read along" with the story. I would love to meet the little kids patient enough to sit through a CD like this. Now there's a single mom I could see myself dating.

So anyway, there's three stories here: the Frankenstein one is definitely the best, with the main guy describing rooms with body parts strewn all over the place and shit. The Dracula one's okay too; I especially like Dracula's M.O.: he just rounds people up and throws these weird dinner parties, complete with entertainment (such as it is), where he cherry-picks the hottest chicks, takes them back to his room, and drinks their blood. Both these stories are told from the hired help's point of view (I assume they're making some statement about class warfare and the endless struggle of the proletariat, unless I'm reading too much into it), but the werewolf one is narrated by this annoying, whiny chick; I can totally see why her boyfriend has no problem abandoning her in the mountains. It's definitely the worst of the lot, but even it has one line that is genuinely bad ass:

Guy Turning Into a Werewolf: "You should... run now."

All in all this isn't half bad. It doesn't skimp on the violence, and it's good enough to scare really little kids, but not so good that their mom won't let you distract them with it while you're upstairs screwing her twatless. As a lame-ass "bonus" the CD ends with a bunch of sound effects, but they're just the ones from the stories - including like the incidental shit - and they're all on one track, so you can't exactly use them for your Halloween party or anything. Unless you actually have friends who, in addition to monsters, are afraid of wind chimes and sheep.