Okay, so Tarka the fuckin' otter. Truth be told I never knew people hated otters so much. Aren't they like the clowns of the sea or something? The folks in this flick sure don't feel that way- they hunt Tarka's dad down with a bunch of hounds like a common negro, and later some dude breaks out a shotgun and gives his mom the Bambi treatment. I fully expected Tarka to swear blood vengeance on all mankind, but that's not what happens. Instead, he goes on a little trip and has various otter adventures, like eating seafood, getting his ass beat when he macks on another otter's girl, and getting his foot caught in a trap while trespassing. (Huh. That's almost exactly what I did last Saturday.) It's actually kind of educational too. For example, I never knew that otters ate rabbits, and I find this especially amusing because it forces anyone who likes cute animals to choose sides. So which is it, ladies? Do you love the playful otter, frolicking in the water, or the adorable bunny rabbit, hopping through the field? Sorry, you can't pick both. It's the law of the jungle.

So anyway, time passes, and eventually the sherry-swilling otter hunters return, courageously running down individual otters with their trifling team of nine or ten guys and about a dozen dogs. It takes a real man, I guess. They chase Tarka forever,* until he finally gets fed up, turns around, and attacks the lead hound! Ha ha! Just like General Woundwort! And he fucking kills it, too! That's pretty badass. You know, for an otter.

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