"Okay, rat!... It's your turn to cry!"
"The gasp-jammed drama of the men behind the tear gas guns... The bravest cops on earth!"

Okay, that is officially the best goddamned movie poster of all time. Crime is on the rampage, but the crooks pick the wrong drug store to barge into looking for medical help- the pharmacist on duty is the original Superman! He captures them and gets a big reward, and then we switch gears and focus on his brother, a nightclub singer who does this smartass bit about the pigs. This chick he irritates one night decides to get revenge on him by introducing him to her family, who are all cops, but of course they're Irish so he wins them over by singing "When Irish Eyes are Smiling". It's funny and it's a racial stereotype! Which means it's doubly funny, obviously. The chick still isn't buying what he's selling though, so he figures he has two choices: blue balls, or the thin blue line. The police training scenes are so ridiculous that they make Police Academy look like a documentary (unless police school really does involve shit like shooting cigarettes out of people's mouths), but things pick up after he graduates because crime is at it again: "Cashier Slain in Shower of Bullets from Automatics of Merciless Killers Who Flee in Fast Cars" says the unusually specific newspaper headline. (Also: "Bids Given on Bridge Project".) Of course our main guy wants to prove himself by busting these jokers, but in the time-honored police movie tradition he has to get suspended first. Once that's accomplished he... Uh, actually, he gives up. I'll have to admit, I didn't see that coming. He changes his tune when the crooks who got busted at the beginning send some of their buddies to revenge-shoot his brother though. (Wow, I guess that scene was relevant.) "Police Still Minus Clues To Gunmen Who Took Life of Druggist" says the grammatically-questionable headline. For a movie that's not even an hour long they manage to kill an enormous amount of time (the main guy sings four entire songs) but there's some entertaining stuff along the way and they even sneak in a gay joke, which was a pretty ballsy move for 1940. All told, there's definitely worse shit you could be watching. Like a fat chick doing a striptease.

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