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Trees

(2000)

This movie is exactly like Jaws, except with a tree. And I mean exactly: they do all the same shit, they say all the same shit, and it all turns out the same way. Except instead of a shark, it's a killer tree. If you want to hear people say things like "This was no lawn mower accident!"; "They caught a tree, not the tree."; and "You know, I used to be afraid of the woods..." - and you should - you have to see this movie. The only bad things are the fat chick the tree eats at the very beginning (it's hard to believe it could still be hungry after chowing down on her), and this crummy special effect they use in one part to make it look like some people are standing in front of a billboard. Honestly, they couldn't take like half an hour to make a real billboard that wouldn't look totally shitty and fake? How lazy can you get? Other than that this movie pretty much rocks, although frankly the DVD itself is pretty shoddy- the picture looks sort of funky and the beginning skips like a fag on payday. Where's the fucking quality control, people? Seriously, don't make me go all ISO-9000 on your ass.



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